The Curse of Gobbledygook


Except ye utter by the tongue words easy to be
understood, how shall it be known what is
spoken? For ye shall speak into the air.
-I Corinthians XIV:9

Condensed from The New York Times Magazine
Maury Maverick
Former Congressman from Texas; now Chairman of the Smaller War Plants Corporation

In Washington, just before Pearl Harbor, I got my baptism under "gobbledygook." I was sent to a committee meeting at which the chairman spoke at length of "maladjustments co-extensive with problem areas . . . alternative but nevertheless meaningful minimae . . . utilization of factors which in a dynamic democracy can be channelized into both quantitative and qualitative phases . . ."

Our chairman was a mild-mannered, amiable-looking fellow, who had consorted so long with a lot of others like himself that he didn't know how to talk plain English. He talked gobbledygook.

People ask me where I got "gobbledygook." Perhaps I was thinking of the old turkey gobbler back in Texas who was always gobbledygobbling and strutting with ridiculous pomposity. At the end of his gobble there was a sort of gook.

In Washington I soon realized that the double-talkers and long-winded writers were moving in on us, creating in their wake confusion, dullness and slowdown. For instance, in practically every government order there is a long paragraph pretending to rehash in advance the reasons for the order. Let me quote one and then show how it could be written in short language:
Whereas, national defense requirements have created a shortage of corundum (as hereafter defined) for the combined needs of defense and private account, and the supply of corundum now is and will be insufficient for defense and essential civilian requirements, unless the supply of corundum is conserved and its use in certain products manufactured for civilian use is curtailed; and it is necessary in the public interest and to promote the defense of the United States, to conserve the supply and direct the distribution and use thereof. Now therefore, it is hereby ordered that . . .
It could have been written:
National defense requirements have created a shortage of corundum. This order is necessary to conserve the supply for war and essential civilian use, and . . .
Here is a typical paragraph from a recent order. If you can read it once and know what it means you are a genius:
For the purposes of subparagraph (1) of this paragraph, if a farmer-producer has a maximum price for a given class of sales or deliveries of a given variety and kind of vegetable seed, but not for another class of sales or deliveries thereof, he shall determine his maximum price for such latter class of sales or deliveries by adding to or subtracting from his maximum price for the class of sales and deliveries for which he has an established maximum price hereunder the premium or discount, as the case may be, in dollars and cents normal to the trade during said base period, for the class of sales or deliveries to be priced in relation to said class of sales or deliveries for which he has an established maximum price hereunder; and the resultant figure shall be his maximum price for the class of sales and deliveries in question.
What is it that brings on this long-winded, heartbreaking wordiness? I have a hunch that a writer, feeling defeat in advance, gets lengthy and vague in self-defense. Then, if defeat comes, he can ascribe it to the ignorance of the people addressed.

Somehow I get the idea that gobbledygook writing is just an attempt to impress the reader or the boss with the writer's learning.

The American people are tired of double-talk and talk they can't understand. What are we going to do about it? Well, memos should be short and to the point. If the executive has to struggle through tiresome, wordy memoranda, they pile high on his desk, creating a Great Slowdown Wall. We might start by applying the following rules:

1. Make it unpopular to use gobbledygook words.

2. Try to keep sentences under 20 words, certainly under 25 words.

3. Don't make a display of "book learning."

If we do these things we can save time, paper, hours of unnecessary work and our dispositions. Our present language must be rescued from the curse of confusion.

A man's language is an important part of his conduct. He should be held morally responsible for his words just as he is accountable for his other acts. Let us be orderly and brief. Slovenly disorder in speech and writing is not only a reflection upon a person's thinking but an insult to the person addressed. Anyone who is thinking clearly and honestly can express his thoughts in words which are understandable, and in very few of them.

Reader's Digest, August 1944

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